It’s been mad this week. So many things have changed, but I still don’t notice the things that still stay the same, even in comparison. And me this past week has been different from me in all the other past weeks I’ve ever had: me with my lust for justice, me and my apathy, me and my inability to change myself or expend effort to deceive others into thinking that I have, or that I’m anything other than me, a frustrated high school girl who just wants out, just wants to live in an apartment and go to work and school, and go out when I want to and sleep when I want to and binge on my vices when I want to and play music really loudly when I want to and turn on the heat when I want to (or, more likely, when I can afford to.) But still: sunshine shines day after day, utterly apathetic to however I might want to change or need to change or need a change in others. Living here, living in my house, is strangling me. High school has been strangling me for a long time. And yet I don’t know the alternative.