It’s really too bad that sometimes you feel a disconnect with people.
You wonder if you’re the problem, if it’s your problem that you can’t be like them. You wonder what they think of you, in your stiff unlike-them manner, and you try not to feel as if you’re making yourself a fool by your differences.
But sometimes the rift between your actions, your way of thinking and theirs is too deep, and you feel withdrawn, and more than a little unintentionally pretentious. Because your stiffness must betray to them your lack of understanding, which probably (probably?) will be interpreted as snobbishness…
I don’t know… I just know that sometimes I’m tired of not being the same. I’m beginning to think that sometimes both low and high self-esteem have the same hallmarks: an awkward silence, endless chattering and lack of eye contact for fear that it may reveal what lies behind it: a lack of understanding.